Because I'm too lazy to post the actual shots...here's the gallery for the new game I'm playing!

http://pics.livejournal.com/filejobean/gallery/0000ch2b?page=1

Soul of the Ultimate Nation! I am Gidget, the Valkyrie. Fear my goggles crossbow and twin guns! HOOAH!!

AAaaaauuuh I love my new icon too much. I love anything with weird goggles/helmets and a spiffy coat. Today we looked through a ton of old photos, and I saw so many of my relatives from the 20's with their fur collars and fedoras and their short flapper hairstyles. I want to write a fantasy story about a world based in the 20's era, but with goggles and airships and all that junk. I just keep coming up with all kinds of stupid ideas.

So tired. But I get milk. So it's okay :3

also!

May be getting this for Christmas!




and lastly... CUTE. YEAH??



So SDCC isn't going to work out, but I am trying to think of other plans for next year. Baltimore is a possible thought but eh it's more mainstream focused and might not be as fun. So thinking of ways to just get the gang together, provided I have the money. I did a search out of curiosity today just to see how much it would be to fly to England for a week and if I didn't have loans and bills to pay I could afford it after a month since the summer is always more expensive (like $1000 or so..yeesh). But it all depends on what everyone wants to do. I say let's gang up asap before everyone moves/etc but things are harder to do short notice I guess. But I'll put in as much as I can if I need to.

Ha. You guys. My boyfriend is irresistibly cute. I worry way too much. Everytime I get bleh he says or does something that warms my heart. My whole family knows about him now thanks to my bro's big fat mouth and I have everyone down my throat wanting to know when I'm going to see him and why the hell would I want to wait until summer to do so. xD My family... surprises me lol.

But anyway, enough rambling. I'm tired. Noise in the house has calmed down. I hope everyone had a Happy Holiday and had lots of good food and time with family. Or at least stayed warm. I'm thankful for all of you guys. Without you I don't even know where I would be right now <3

Night!

Started playing Soul of the Ultimate Nation! I'm playing a Valkyrie, kind of the equivalent to a ranger or a Hunter, if you play WoW. But you get cool steampunk/valkyrie themed armor! You mostly have crossbows and guns which is awesome. I have never loved guns so much xD

So ya. Gidget. Still trying to figure out how to repair my armor and such but, I'll bring out more screens later for some inspiration-ness.

Ugh. my graphics card sucks 8D~

yes I named her Gidget. yes I will draw art of her. yes I always do that. No I am no better than those RO freaks and Gaia freaks who draw their characters. No I may not play this game as often unless I'm playing with my bro or get the hang of it but yay!

So I'm feeling really shitty and having the worst night/day in a while and I'm looking through Skydoll comic pages and wishing I had icons of some of the panels. But instead of looking for them... I made my own. SOoooOOOo...here's some of the ones I made for fun. So if you like Skydoll or you just like pretties, take em, credit em if you want, use them as stock icons I don't care. This isn't all of the ones I could have made but I just want through my favorite scenes in the third comic and went from there.

So more to come later. Maybe next time I'll get some airships and obscure things. Except the 2nd book is kind of saturated... and mostly full of boobs.

BTW, these icons have the SFW parts although the third comic was mostly SFW save for a couple things. None yet of Lodovica. Cause she pisses me off. Please save them to your own hard drive/server, no direct linking. Skydoll is © Barbucci/Canepa I am just making these for entertainment purposes. Since it's the third book there may be some spoilers, but if you've never read them it's not important. Just enjoy the pretty art :D

( Skydoll Icons: The White City )

I really hate my style :\ Idk...every so often I run into brick walls and I can't figure them out. I know I should just sit down and practice if I want to work in elements I love, but when I was younger I used to be so energetic about that stuff. God I'm getting old. I can't operate without caffeine, I can't think without some kind of music blaring in my ears, and I certainly cannot operate when the sun is out. I feel like I'm missing out on things and I spend all day working hard with an empty emotional feeling. The excitement doesn't begin until later, and by later I'm already in bed so I can get up earlier the next day. So maybe posting these will make me feel better, and I can have some kind of guidance when I decide to get my sore ass out of bed to do something about it. Fuck I'm in a really bad mood today.

Yes, order does have a hand here:

http://www.tanji.jp/
http://rocketshoes.deviantart.com/
http://iuma-iuma.blogspot.com/
http://pallidmor.blogspot.com/
http://alessandrobarbucci.blogspot.com/
http://www.tatoomcity.net/
http://grandyoukan.net/main2.htm
http://www.ciia2d.com/portfolio_gallery1_en.htm

There's certain things in each style that I really hate and that I really like. I don't want to turn my style into something that is too cartoony, because something about those styles looks better... when professionals do it. Idk. Those are the artists that are sort of inspiring me atm. Not so much the last one, because she/he has certain illustrations that make me go "oooo I wanna do that!" but not all of it is really to my taste.

Also, Miwa Shirow is awesome. But I can't locate his site atm.

Meh. Dunno. Feeling too crappy to care.

Some stuff about Nora. Since I was up late hanging with some buddies, I got the inspiration bug at midnight and doodles some stuff.

This is a post about Half Blood's Nora, Rakka's wolf companion. May contain SOME spoilers but nothing past the first book. It's not that big a deal anyway.

About the Project: Half Blood is a fantasy/novel series I have been working on for about 2-3 years and is currently in the process of being edited. It is almost near completion. After editing, what remains is Illustrations and concept work. So far there are about 4 different "Half Blood" series.

( F-List friendly cut )

</div>

So per a previous conversation, I wanted to post my list for people I would choose to be my characters. I go primarily with voices, because I honestly would love to see my stuff animated someday (preferably by either the Japanese studio that did Cowboy Bebop OR by the American one that did Avatar), but yeh. Here goes! Anyone I couldn't think of, I just left it blank.

Ajahli: Camilla Belle
Tad:
Jakob:

Rakka: Chris Evans maybe?
Maxil: Jay Hernandez
Kael: Joe Anderson
Nora:
Lanka (Rakka's daughter): Dakota Fanning
Hui: Bridget Fonda | Singing voice: Emma Shapplin (and a 2nd vid)
Toril: Cate Blanchett
Rowe: Evan Rachel Wood
Jatine: James Earl Jones
Silus: Scott Mcneil
Jezebeth: Mae Whitman
Rosalia:
Lafae: Ashely Eckstein
Dane: Jack De Sena
Thasmus: Keith David
Larkin:
Alex:
Vensey:
Varissa:
Sebastian:
Oriana:
Bridget:


That's all I can remember atm. I base the voices off of speech patterns and voice tones, similar to how I can hear the character's voices in my head. So yeah. Maybe that will help...

Went on an Assassin's Creed binge today. So! videos!

Watching these has really made me think more about the politics surrounding Malthoria and influencing Rakka's work and decisions. It's also made me think more about the factions that would exist in the city and in the system. I don't want to copy but I'm inspired to just develop that stuff more. So when I get a moment I may make a post on that afterwards.

( Assassin's Creed 2 EYE CANDY! )

Or in other words, this is the "I"m gunna make GK jealous post!" Sorry F-list for spamming your pages with my stupid crap but HEY! This could count as an inspiration post seeming as how I'm trying to do more craft-wise. I Have a skirt pattern and I'm going to learn how to sew. I also find pendants and random things from craft stores so I can learn to make jewelry (I really want to make those elaborate chokers and brooches and stuff). But anyway! Point made! So here's some stuff I dug up, as well as some pics of things I have collected over the year. Mostly I just want to show off my stuff. Ha. I'm not a materialistic jerk but eh xD I'm more of a packrat lol.

Onto the pics!

( SHUTUP WOMAN AND GET ON MY HORSE! )
That's it folks!

While my internet mindfucks with me I guess I'll see if I can post this :D OHBOY!

My family keeps going at me to write a children's book. 8|

Now, don't get me wrong. I WANT to write a kids book, hardcore. I'd love to start a children's series. But every time I get started I get really nervous. "Oh fuck what do I write?? Oh oops no cursing in kids books. No..blood..in kids books? No kids defying authority...? Politically correct novel? WHAT?" I'm afraid to write anything that will "dumb it down" but then I'm afraid to write anything that's too over the top. And then I get distracted by Half Blood. 8D I really have no priorities anymore...lol

But my mom and my grandma keep telling me to write a kids book so that I have a chance at something and can have a project that is making some money while I work on other things. I guess I'm more irritated with the fact that they don't understand that I've been TRYING. I AM. PROMISE. It's the same thing with my portfolio, actually. "Well, why haven't you got your portfolio done so you can send it to companies?" UH. Well I won't go into details but let's just say all my effort gets spent on running around like crazy person trying to do things for everyone else that by the time I sit down at 9:30 PM... I just fall asleep with my head on my desk.

So Ladies and gents, since I am doing this NaNoWriMo thing... I don't know which story I'd be better off plucking out of the bucket to do. So, I'm gunna riff about my ideas for a few minutes and you guys can either tell me what you think (if you wish) or just read them and see what I'm up to.

I think what I'm aiming for in a kid's book is something that the readers can identify with but grow up with too. Something that is fun and refreshing in a way

ARGH. It's official guys.

I'm doing NaNoWriMo 8|

And no I don't mean November doodles! or ManWaHihMo or whatever the manga equivalent is. (what the hell did I even spell? lol) I'm fucking writing argh. Mostly because my friend said "you're in I'm in" and I was all "omg okay" and now here I am trying to write a novel while the little sis is in the next room (separated by a CURTAIN, mind you) doing sing alongs. efsugfdjhvdfvghfdgvbdfgh. TOTAL inspiration kill.

But yeah don't wanna do the comic one because hey! I already have a webcomic which people should really read if they haven't already. Called Grim Reaper School. kinda cool yknow? http://grimreaperschool.thecomicseries.com  I missed ANOTHER update but I'm going through recovery mode and when I'm not walking, I'm sleeping or running errands. Which reminds me. Needajobneedajob.

So today just going to chill out, work on my novel, hang with the childrens (ick), dick around on SL, talk to my boy toy for a bit and hope for the best.

So yes. NaNoWriMo. You are going to make me write my prequel. AND YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING LIKE IT. KAY?

Name: Dane
Clan: Duemos
Hair Color: Ice Blue 
Eye Color: Ice Blue 
Skin: Dark Tan
Horns: none
Height: 5'9
Build: muscular build
Occupation(s): Assassin
Weapons: Twin swords, the hilts made of ivory and inlaid with gems. Blades are a crystalline looking steel that never stains
Armor: none. Dane dresses like his father: cloth and leather, an open fur-lined jacket, always bare chested even in winter
Other traits: Wears his hair long until the war, when he chops it short. The only time he changes his appearance is when he trains with the Vru, and pierces his ears and gets tattoos afterward as a sign of their training. [The Vru are like the elves of Arde]. Unlike the other clans, Dane possesses the traits of the Duemos, where their Vru ancestry is more apparent in their appearance than that of the demons.  Duemos are a cross breed of water demons and Ice Vru. So Dane's clan has the bright hair colors, the pointed ears, but almost always no horns, and dark skin. Their eyes are a dead giveaway to their demon ancestry. They are also taller than many of the other half demons from the other clans. Vru stand at about 6-7 feet on their full height.

History:

Dane is the youngest of three brothers, the son of Kael, Maxil's best friend. While most Duemos were trained to be scholars and weaponsmiths, Kael was raised to be an assassin and so passed that on to his sons.  When Dane was younger he was actually a bookworm, before the ancient scripts were banned from the clans and all magic practices forbidden.  He spent more time in the library with his grandfather and reciting scriptures with his mother who was a full blood Vru (it was an arranged marriage), or running books about the clans.  However, Kael hated that any son of his should be anything but a warrior, so he inducted Dane into the training himself and Dane took to it immediately. He was a young prodigy, talented, strong, and deadly, and he quickly lived up to his name.  However, unrest sat in the Duemos clan with the marriage between Saya and Kael. They fought often and Kael beat her, so Saya ran away, and Dane hasn't seen his mother since he was 8 years old. Dane became a member of Jatine's personal trainee group, a student of Maxil and Rowe, and is popular among the clans, and a skilled assassin coveted by guilds in Malthoria. However, he ends up getting sold into Rakka's care as an assassin for the Golden Willow, mostly for Maxil's entertainment, but he becomes a part of the trio team.

Personality:

Dane is egotistical, narcissistic, and an asshole in the worst sense of the word.  He can't really help it. It's how he was raised, and the reputation of being one of the best assassins in the clans went to his head.  He has an attitude, is disrespectful to others, and thrives off of attention. He is 100% the typical jock personality, and brags constantly about his achievments. Part of this comes from having two older brothers whom he has to keep up with, a father who is one of Jatine's prized killers, and a teacher who is the fiercest killer to ever walk the earth. He fights hard to keep up to standards, often going out of his way to impress people, and does what he can to feel good about himself at the end of the day. He is the object of many girls' affections, and can hardly live without some kind of praise.  Unknown to him, however, he is a tool to Maxil, and his ideas of being a  member of "Jatine's army" are all a joke to the older Half Demons who run the show. Dane can't take criticism, and when placed in uncomfortable situations he has mental breakdowns. He is constantly trying to show up people and trying to prove his worth that he can be a little sloppy (a result of Maxil's teachings) and if he finds a situation to be unfair, he tends to whine and have a fit over it.

On the upside, however, Dane is a passionate young man who works hard to accomplish his goals.  Like Lafae he has a sense of self-righteousness about him, and even though he doesn't show it at first, a solid sense of justice.  To him everything is a competition, and while that is often his downfall, he rarely ever fails.  His loud mouth gets him into a lot of trouble most of the time, since he is a very straightforward kind of guy and always speaks his mind.  Once he becomes your friend, he is loyal to the very end. He is a lot smarter than people give him credit for. He knows a lot about the world's ancient history and magic, and often times can see a situation for what it really is. He puts on the front of being a badass because he's actually very insecure and scared to fail, and terrified of the consequences should he fall flat on his face. Dane lets himself get pushed around very easily by those who are tougher than he is, but bullies weaker people to overcompensate for it. There are clearly two layers to him, but his overall personality is very gung-ho and optimistic.  To Dane, the world is just one big challenge, and in his eyes he can do anything if he sets his mind to it.

Relationships:

Lord Duemos: His beloved grandfather, a scholar and lord among half demons.  Dane studied under his grandfather up until his mother's disappearance. While Dane's father wanted him to carry on the tradition of assassination, Lord Duemos had hoped to pass down the tradition of worldly knowledge to Dane.  Dane is the only one who has access to the banned scriptures and the hidden artifacts. Lord Duemos entrusts Dane with everything that makes the Duemos clan what it is.

Kael: Dane's father, Maxil's best friend, a personal warrior and guard to Lord Jatine. Kael is actually very protective over Dane, for specific reasons [spoilers, so not giving it away]. However, his fatherly love often comes across as being very hard on Dane when he slacks off. He pushes Dane very hard to become an assassin and to succeed like his brothers, but he rarely ever lets Dane go too far without his jurisdiction and without his consent.

Saya: Dane's mother, a native Vru who was married into the Duemos clan to "strengthen" the bloodline.  While she and Kael never got along, and she never got to bond with her other two sons, Dane was the one son she tried to pass down her knowledge of magic to. Saya ran away from the clans when he was a little boy, and while the rest of the clan hate her and consider her a traitor, Dane actually loves his mother and doesn't resent her like the others. It is a mystery what actually happened to her, there are rumors that she was hunted down and killed, but he still believes she is alive somewhere.

Maxil: Dane's first Master, Maxil taught him everything he knows. Dane was actually on his way to being a mini-Maxil in terms of technique and attitude. Maxil basically just tried to turn him into a minion and a tool. Maxil takes pleasure in toying with Dane and throwing him into tough missions to challenge him.

Rakka: Dane's new Master, the only one who ever challenged Dane to be both a skilled fighter but also a good person. Dane refers to him informally, and is always calling him "old man", but he comes to respect Rakka a lot and considers him another father figure. While Maxil and Kael taught Dane everything he needed to know about killing, Rakka was his true mentor who taught him to think and be true to himself and to the weapons he wielded.  The two don't always see eye to eye but because they are both similar in personality, they tend to understand each other better--sometimes insulting one another but meaning something completely different.  Dane abandons the teachings of Maxil and even the path his own father carved out for him, to be loyal to Rakka and embrace his ideals.

Lafae: Dane's rival, object of his constant need to harass someone to feel good about himself.  They were rivals since they were children and fought all the time until Lord Baele told him to stay away from her.  They start out as worst enemies but eventually become best friends.

Larkin: At first Dane hates Larkin. He can't stand how weak he is. But eventually he goes out of his way to stand up for Larkin, he even waltzes into the Uphar clan to tell Larkin's father exactly what he thinks of him... and then comes out beat to hell. As time goes on Dane and Larkin kind of part ways in terms of their ambitions and skills, but Dane is always there to watch over Larkin no matter what. basically the trio become like family, and become a part of Rakka's family in a way. Larkin is just like his gay little brother that he can't really identify with (lol) but he'll kick anyone's ass if they touch Larkin or harm him in any way.

Lanka: I can't say too much about Lanka without giving spoilers but basically Dane becomes like her tough big brother, and becomes her training partner.

Naka: Dane's former girlfriend and another trainee in his group. The two are kind of on and off in terms of a relationship. Usually she comes back into his life when Maxil pays her to investigate something. I really hate her character lol.

Name: Lafae
Clan: Baele
Hair Color: Deep Violet
Eye Color: Saphire Blue
Skin: Lavendar
Horns: straight, dark grey
Height: 5'7
Build: stocky, muscular arms and legs, a little chubby in the face, taller than girls of other clans
Occupation(s): Runner, Assassin for the Golden Willow, Earth Mage-in-training, Apprentice architect in later stories
Weapons: Primarily uses daggers, a little practiced with polearm
Armor: Wool clothing layered over chainmail. Bracers are authentic Baele construction, made with a material with the likeness of concrete, and leather hyde boots.
Other traits: Black vine tattoo that spirals along her wrists. She hides hem with her bracers. Most Baele are piggish and stout but she is wirey and pretty for a Baele girl, and possibly the only one who trained to be an assassin. She is also the only Baele girl who went into the Baele trade, and the only one who possesses any true magical talent.

History:
Lafae grew up in the Baele house under her mother's jurisdiction. She is the youngest of three daughters, two of which grew up being pampered girly girls who were taught to sew, play instruments and do absolutely nothing useful all day. Lafae, on the other hand, spent more time climbing up and down garden walls, ripping every dress she owned, and getting into fights with Dane and his childhood lackeys. It wasn't until she was about 6 that her father started taking her with him on his archaelogical digs and to his construction sites where she watched in awe, ran errands around the site, and helped build wells and cellars.  To other Baele, especially to her mother, it was unseemly, but to her father and the servants of the Baele household it was a way to get the youngling some exercize besides destroying the citadel and using her stuffed animals to pummel boys.  When she was about 10 she entered into assassin training, eager to put her energy to good use. But because of the elitism surrounding the clans, she was placed in an intermediate group of trainees where she met the clumsy and soft-footed Larkin and the two became best friends.  She and Dane have always been rivals, often pitted against one another in small gatherings. Lafae has always been at the center of teasing, mainly for her looks, as well as her Clan, but also because she began her training much later than typical younglings who begin the moment they can hold a sword. She began her career as a Runner (i.e. errand runner) and always worked hard to prove she could do anything the other trainees could do.  She spends more time in her own training group though, and when Dane ran books to her father's citadel he was often bullied off the premises by her, or her father who forbid him to ever speak to Lafae on personal terms.  It wasn't until she was about 14 that she met Rakka and became a member of the Golden Willow.

Personality:
Lafae is very strong-headed and level-tempered.  She will work hard for anything she wants badly, even if it takes years for her to accomplish her goals. She is not a quitter,even when the odds are against her, although she can back down when she loses control over a situation.  Lafae keeps her head on her shoulders most of the time, and s very mature for her young age.  She is different from other Baele women not because of her chosen career path, but because of her perseverance. She fights for what she wants, and when she gets it, she doesn't gloat or tear others down i competition. She accepts her fate honorably and keeps her focus.  The only real drawback to Lafae is that she jumps to conclusions rather quickly, and has a very guarded personality. She can be very mean-spirited to anyone who may mean her harm, and often times she doesn't stop to think twice. She can also be somewhat of a control freak, but most of these traits come from having to constantly defend herself and prove her worth. She doesn't really like to lose, at least not shamefully, and has a habit of walking away from fights and arguments. She can be a little self-righteous and impose her prescence in places where she would be better off not sticking her nose in, but her serious sense of justice tends to get the better of her.

On a Team:
In the trio of trainees, Lafae takes a more motherly stance over Larkin and sometimes extends that over Dane, which drives him batshit bonkers.  She is the voice of reason among chaos, since Larkin is clumsy,shy and fragile, and Dane is kind of presumptious, narcissistic and careless. Lafae and Dane are two competitive people and sine they were always rivals, their views often clash, sometimes in the worst ways. The situation is turned around with Dane putting his foot out of line, and Lafae always kicking him back into shape. It was a team put together for the sole amusement of the guilds (much to the clan leaders' disapproval...civil war almost erupted because of it) but in the end the trio becomes a force to be reckoned with. Lafae is a force of reliance on the team, but she has a tendency to take things on by herself when she thinks no one will understand or because she thinks she can handle it on her own. She tends to overestimate her abilities from time to time, and when she fails, she falls down hard before she can pick herself up again. But on the team she is what brings it together, even with Rakka as a team member. She always impresses him one way or another and becomes like his right hand, the one he can depend on the most. She is always confident, tends to make the most solid plans, and sticks to her guns.

( Excerpts! )OF COURSE I CAN'T FIND ANY OF THE GOOD STUFF! I had a fight scene and everything. wth laptop. Anyway, that is the basis of Lafae. Here's some arts :F I need to draw more of her. auuhhgh

Sorry if anyone got the wrong idea with my last post. I was a bit angry at someone and felt like I needed to parade for a bit. Meh. To clarify, I want to be famous, well known, and respected. Using a word like "popularity" can mean many different things, and I guess I was referring to worst case scenario. I want to live off my work, I want to bring sexy back, all that jazz. I just don''t want to be the type who feeds off of it and turns into a total asshat cause oh well at least I have money and fame, know what I mean? I'm fighting for a cause just as much as I'm trying to perfect my craft. I want to BE somebody, somebody people will remember... not just another Has-Been.That's what I meant :'D

Anyway! What I'm working on~

I'm writing the prequel to RotSK first.  I don't know how I feel about this. Half Blood is such an extensive series that often times I don't know where to begin. So a friend suggested just writing it all down, so I'm considering it a prequel. And in truth, Brent Weeks did say to start from the VERY beginning, which is the exact opposite of what my writing teachers said in high school and college, but I guess with a story as epic as this I have to break the rules a little bit and do what makes sense.

So Half Blood...er...whatever the subtitle is gunna be, will be aboue Jatine, Rakka's father, and his creation. Not "how ya make a Half Demon babeh!" but how he was taken in by the Belkrash house and raised as a slave turned warrior, how he joined the ranks of Toril's army, won the war against the demons and became the lord of all Half Demons. I even intend to write about how he met Rosalia, might even include when Farron and Maxil were born.  I'm shooting for a trilogy although I could probably fit it all in one book, or two at the most, but you never know. Half Blood started as a collection of short stories and ended up becoming this mass collection of one big story. So who knows?

I'll update later with a cast list and the script for the opening comic~

upon a quick 30 minutes of confusion over stories and prologues and all that razmatazz... a friend of mine said to just write it all anyway and see where I end up, basically.

*blinks* WHAT

Okay. Ajah is brave! SHE SHALL TAKE ON THIS TASK GIVEN TO HER BY THE SPIRALS OF THE UNIVERSE!! AND DRILL TO THE HEAVENS! XXX INTACT!

(you FAIL if you don't get that reference. GO DIE.)

Jeezuz Christ. Why do I do this to myself? I like to think I am a creative genius when it comes to writing, but then I go and do this. I go and decide to do something smart.

I should be posting a journal that says OMG U GAIZ I'M WRITIN AGIN! >8F But if I do that, I will jinx it. And deep down I really am very excitied...terrified....excited [WHICH ONE IS THE RIGHT ONE??]

THIS IS MY EXCITED FACE: DDDDDDD:

Maybe now I can return to my life of staying up till 3am staring at my laptop screen with my cup of tea and stash of sugar, leafing through my favorite parts of Night Angel Trilogy or fastforwarding through blips of Xam'd and Gurren Lagann* to pick up the inspiration, with orchestrated epic music blaring in my headphones. Back then it was just me, the night, and an empty word document, the strive to plow forward with the remaining two chapters of a vital story arch and waking up early the next day to doodle scenes or characters in my head and re read each sentence to see what I did good and what I didn't. Of course I could never know but I know I'm not full of myself when I say I'm good at what I do, because I remember back then when I had someone to excitedly read each chapter, and to listen to them laugh or scream NOOOOOO at different parts just like I do with my favorite books. Writing is the most rewarding experience for me, even if no one in the outside world will have that experience. But I get so much gratification out of writing something RIGHT more than when I draw something relatively pleasing.

Oh but here I go, losing my spasm. I GUESS I'M JUST REALLY HAPPY. OR I'M TOTALLY LOSING MY SHIT. I ONLY GOT 2 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT THANKS TO THIS DAMN FLU. HOW AWESOME IS THAT SHIT, AMIRITE?

*chokes on her own rabid mouth foam*

Oh boy I guess that means I get to make some kind of promotional material now. Goodie goodie.

I wonder if Tolkein ever had this problem??? Maybe I will end up like him too and only publish a half of the books and leave it to my son/daughter to edit all my notes and release prequel after prequel. Yes. My fate. I accept it with honor.

P.S. ....if I spell one part of Jesus' name wrong...on purpose... is it still blasphemy? Which part is worse? The I'm-saying-his-name-in-vain part or the I'm-purposefully-misspelling-it-to-save-my-ass-but-mostly-still-saying-it-in-vain part?

So to continue the discussion of Ajahli: Wolf or Fox? I think I have come to the conclusion that she is more fox than wolf. To give those out of the loop a bit of background, a majority of my family's descent (including both sides, but mostly my dad's) is Native American.

( the part about family history )

This is totally becoming a deeper post than I wanted it to be...btw

So what to do about the species, eh?
( what to do about the wolves )So fox...kitsune.... why?

I chose Kitsune over "Fox" for this particular story because of the magical background involved with the kitsune mythology. And, typically, also, because of my love for asian culture, I figured it was appropriate.

( Kitsune Research )

Oh! I forgot! I have to figure out what species fox she is. Definetely not a red fox, not a maned wolf, not the weird crab eating foxes. I thought about Fennec because of their ears and their coloring and body type, but they look like aliens and she HATES the desert. Arctic fox could be...but she doesnt live in an arctic type of climate. Although the arctic fox is closer to what her coat looks like in summer and winter. Maybe a silver fox, which is the more domesticated version.. but I'd hate to think of her as so tameable ;p

I think her fox/feral form will look more liiike...


When black meets white by *woxys on deviantART

The top one..

( aaand pictures! )

Yeah I know its a pup but! Close to how she would look. She's young anyway. So yess. That would be her feral form. But..blue :D

fuuuuck comcast isn't letting me log into anything or do anything. LJ. HOW MUCH LONGER WILL IT TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME? WHAT?!

*ahem*

I would change a lot. Mostly my living situation and my job situation. 

I'm currently working towards a serious life transition, totally. Trying to go for this job my parents have talked to a friend of theirs about. A dog boarding place where she needs some help with her house and the business. I would basically get paid to play and take care of dogs all day. But I need a license *sigh* so I need to call and see if I can set up a weekend type deal, where I start on weekends and slowly extend my shifts because even though I'll have a license...hopefully come January... doesn't mean I'll even have a car. Like my brother who can't go anywhere because he has no car and when he drives one of the company trucks or the van, my parents flip out :D *not bitter, no not at all*

But I want that job SOOOO bad, even more than I want a studio job or a job with Pixar. I admit it may be difficult at first, because of my experience with the Children's Theatre. Like parents with children, clients will be the same with their dogs, but hopefully it will get easier to keep everyone happy, take snideness in stride, and just have fun. ....as long as I don't have to work with cats. (allergies. bleh)

So plan is, to work hard towards getting that job so I can earn money and save up, get my license, so that I have a good enough job I wn't mind going to, and I'l have time to work on my books and I'll have enough money to go to San Diego.  I want to save up my money so I can afford my own place and my own car, and I can afford gas to go visit my friends, and hopefully go overseas to visit Dev and just see the world in general. It's very ambitious, I know, but I think I've come to terms with the fact that if I want anything in life I'm gunna have to work hard to get it, even if it means *gulp* working a 9-5 job every day and pulling all nighters to get my books done.

I talk big and what I really want is a change of scenery, but I've accepted that this is where I am right now. I'm 23, unemployed. I have debts to pay, I have things in life I want to do NOW and not later. I can't sit around sobbing because my life sucks. I can't just wait for it to come and hope for the best. I keep telling myself "It's your life." So why do I keep finding excuses not to live it?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gunna go find something to eat that doesn't taste like mucus 8\

DX

It's fucking Wednsday!

I missed a GRS update! FUUUUCK.


SICK=NO! NO MORE! GET A JOB! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

EDGAR ALLEN POE DOES NOT APPROVE!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH